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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
miracu-less
ask-bot

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve bullshitted someone into believing?

kurumawer

When me and my siblings were much younger my dad owned a Volvo car with a computerized voice. It was a very deep voice that would give you warnings about the car’s status. “The boot (trunk) is not shut” being one I remember. Very creepy now I look back at it.

Me, my older brother and our dad would joke that the voice came from “a little man” inside the car. My younger sister was at an age where you could tell her anything and she would take it as gospel. She actually believed there was a tiny person with an extraordinarily deep voice living in the car. We kept it going for a long time until one day someone crashed into the vehicle and it ended up in the scrapyard. As she cried for the safety of the little man we had to tell her the truth. She was mad at us for weeks.

shakagirlly

I convinced my kids that my car’s triangular, red, hazard button was a ‘self destruct’ button. This was initially to keep them from hitting it since it is a really prominently placed, large, red button. This worked out great until I quickly pulled the car over the other day to get a dog off the road. Threw on my hazards and jumped out of the car after the dog. I looked back and both kids are hitting the ditch.

tikalgirl

Dealing with that kind of betrayal must have been hard for them. “Dad hit the self-destruct and ran away!!!”

coltrer

Dad killed a dog, hit self-destruct on the car to remove all evidence and witnesses and ran away.

SHIT

armonah

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miracu-less

My younger siblings loved to watch me play Video games growing up, (they still do) but when they were younger than 8, and I would get tired of playing or them asking me questions about the game, I’d say, “Ok Guys, the Nintendo is sleepy, I need to turn it off so it can go to bed.”

And then they would proceed to say “Goodnight” to the N64, and one of them would actually give it a kiss goodnight.

The eldest of the younger siblings eventually caught on and started to do it too when he would play, and one time he “tucked in” the console as the youngest two would still say goodnight.

It was the most precious lie.