Shit my wife has said while playing Skyrim
- Everything is dragons. Shit.
- I’m sorry, I needed a tusk to impress a girl. And on the list of the top three things I’ve done to impress girls, that’s like the least embarrassing.
- (Brutally kills a wolf) FEMINISM!
- Boy Howdy, look at this ancient circle. It’s where they used to have… uh. Lemonade stands.
- (To Uthgred the Unbroken) Holy shit woman, kiss me in the river. It’s romantic, right? There’s the moon, we’re up to our wieners in water. We’re talking about Todd Howard, which gets every woman hot.
- Who are you? Are you a very offensive allegory for the Romani people?
- We’ll settle down, adopt that orphan child and raise her to be her own punchy lesbian.
- (Sing-songing) shot ‘im in the dick, shot ‘im in the dick, shot ‘im in the dick
- If my Uncle Tim right now was raising mammoths for mammoth cheese? That’d be fucking rad. A hell of a lot better than the meth he used to do.
- I’m already having a weird day. I just killed a bunch of vegans in that tower and I’m feeling really bad about it.
- I don’t have time for this shit. I gotta go up this big goddamn mountain. Another one. Goddamn Nords living on their Goddamn Rocks. Get. On. Our. Level.
- (In a fake British accent) I’ve got the buffest legs in all the realm, m’lord!
- (Staring at a tower on a rock in the middle of a lake) I swear on my niblets, if that’s the fucking place I have to go, I’m killing every last person in this Chili’s tonight.