[glumshoe]

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

[glumshoe]

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

[glumshoe]

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

[puerto-nic0]

Zombie : “AARRRGH”

Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”

Zombie : “TEETH!!”

[schmergo]

This happened to me.

Scary prison dude: HELLO

Me: Nice to meet you!

Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot

[batsalmighty]

My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that

[splinterdirk]

Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend? 
Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet? 
Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing). 

– Got to walk a second time through– 

Same guy: My friends -wailing- 
Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad
Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh. 

[sympathetic-deceit-trash]

I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.

Specifically, I remember;

There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.

Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”

I could hear them giggling.

[imanicepersoniswear]

Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!

Me: thanks dad

A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad

[under-the-arch]

I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way

[sun-flowers-sam]

IM CRYING

[dangerhamster]

I had this - haunted house lady swung round the door, came up to my face and said something along the lines of “your skin looks perfect for wearing!” and I blurted out “thanks you too”

[carryonmyfallencas]

I bet she was more scared than you

[emmi-kat]

There appear to be 2 exits but I know one of them is wrong so I kind of stand there puzzling for a moment before turning to the ghoul creeping up behind me (that my friends didn’t know was there) and asking which way to go.  He sighed before pointing to the left.

[honeysuckle-daydreams]

I once had a vampire say “you look delicious…” and I blanked and said “I’m about as healthy as a cheeseburger, spare me”

[khfriendlyreminders]

I was a wimpy as frick child that somehow got dragged into a haunted house at cedar point during their Halloweekends. I was screaming and crying so loudly nonstop that one of the ghouls asked “is she okay?”. My dad told him “she’s fine” and strangely enough I stopped wailing and went to whimpering instead.

In that same haunted house, there was a fake medical room with a guy cut in half on an operating table (not a prop but an actor) and to try and cheer me up my dad pointed at the scary doctor next to the table and said

This is made funnier by

A. My dad being a doctor

B. The trip being sponsored by a drug company back when that was legal and so we had come with a bunch of medical staff.

C.

The haunted house was a fake university called Undertaker U.

I did eventually get to redeem myself by going in a second time when I was a high schooler prior to the ride shutting down. I don’t tend to go in haunted houses though because I just up friendly greeting the entire staff in a terrified manner.